


How It All Began

by lvs2read



Series: Big Damn Story [1]
Category: Firefly
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Firefly Setting, M/M, Pre-Slash, Slash, old fic is old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:33:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 4,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25079185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lvs2read/pseuds/lvs2read
Summary: How Mal and Simon got together in my AU story that begins about a year and a half after "Serenity: The Pilot".
Relationships: Malcolm Reynolds/Simon Tam
Series: Big Damn Story [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1816306
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	1. Distraction

**Author's Note:**

> A series of 16 ficlets/drabbles written back in 2006 for the livejournal communities ff_friday and promptsomeslash. They were previously posted in the livejournal community the-pretty-fits under the title "Beginnings".
> 
> This first ficlet was written for Challenge #111 - Hair at ff_friday, and is rated General Audience.
> 
> It takes place in December 2518, so after Simon's birthday, but who's keeping track? :)

* * *

**Distraction**

Mal was walking the market area on Persephone. 

He was supposed to be huntin' up Doc's medical supplies, but he couldn't keep his mind from driftin' back t' breakfast that mornin'.

Doc had come in lookin' - tousled wasn't the word, but 'twas pretty close. His hair'd kept fallin' down in his eyes; no matter how often he'd push it back, it'd come right back down. Kept distractin' Mal, to the point where he'd finally asked, "You needin' a haircut, Doc?"

"No, I thought I'd try a new look, long-haired and shaggy," Doc'd answered sarcastically. "Of course, I need a haircut. Not likely I'll be finding a barber on this stop, though, is it?" he'd sniped.

"Reckon not. Might ask Kaylee to help you out. She's a fair hand at it."

"Thank you. I just might do that," Doc'd said with a frustrated sigh.

Now, here Mal was, browsin' the stalls for nothin' in particular, unable to forget the look of exasperation on Doc's face. And just when had he started noticin' the way Doc looked, one way or 'nother?

_Oh, face it, Reynolds. You noticed from the minute you saw him. You just been fightin' it. Only, since Inara left, there's no one 'round to distract you._

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a brown vest. Only it was more like chocolate brown. _The color o' Doc's hair. And that blue; swear it matches his eyes._ He decided right then that he had to buy the vest for Doc. Couldn't let the vendor know, though, just how much he wanted it. Pretended to be interested in a couple o' different ones, before settlin' on it. Got it at a good price that way. 

_Time I got to know Doc a mite better. Maybe take him out to dinner next planet we're on. Best find those medical supplies first, though, or Kaylee won't need to cut his hair 'cause he'll have pulled it all out, and that wouldn't do at all._

Whistling tunelessly, carrying the box wrapped with a black velvet band under his arm, Mal went in search of the requisite medical supplies.


	2. Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mal gives Simon a present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the prompt Black Velvet at promptsomeslash, this one is also rated General Audience. Translation in mouseover.

* * *

**Unexpected**

"What's this?" Simon asked suspiciously when Mal handed him the box.

"Just somethin' I saw in the market. Thought you might like it, and seein's how you couldn't get off ship…" Mal looked at him in wide-eyed innocence, making Simon even more apprehensive.

_Is this another one of the captain's sick practical jokes? Do I dare open this?_ "Hmm. That was very…thoughtful…of you, Captain, but I'm a bit busy right now. I'll just set this over here, and open it later, if that's…"

"No, no. Won't take more'n a minute to open it, and I'd like to see…"

_Āi yā,_ _this has to be one of his psychotic pranks, or he wouldn't be so insistent. How can I get out of this?_ "Yes, well…"

"Oh, come on, Doc. It ain't gonna bite. Just open it!"

Simon closed his eyes, mentally braced himself for the laughter he knew would be forthcoming at his expense, sighed at the futility of the effort, opened his eyes, and untied the black velvet band tied around the box. Slowly, he lifted the lid away from himself so that if something popped out, it wouldn't hit him in the face. When nothing happened, he risked a glance at Mal, who looked totally bored with the whole process.

_Oh, well. I've come this far, may as well finish. Won't be the first time he's played me for a fool. Probably won't be the last._ Taking a deep breath, he looked down at the contents of the box, and saw nothing but tissue paper. Another quick look at Mal, then he moved the paper aside to reveal chocolate brown fabric shot through with blue and silver. He gasped in astonishment. "Mal, uh, Captain, this is exquisite," he breathed, running his fingers over the fine silk. "Why?" He looked up at Mal, and caught a quickly disguised look of tenderness on the other man's face, before his eyes were drawn back to the fabric.

"Told you. Thought you'd like it. 'Sides, you'll need somethin' nice to wear when I take you out to dinner next time we're planetside."

"Oh. Wait? What? Take me out to dinner?" Simon looked up, but Mal had left the room.


	3. Nerves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, about that dinner date...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Challenge #110 - Color at ff_friday, this one is also rated General Audience.
> 
> This one takes place in January 2519.

* * *

**Nerves**

Simon smoothed his hands down the front of the vest he was wearing - chocolate brown, shot through with blue and silver - still unable to believe that Mal, of all people, had bought it for him at their last stop. Nor could he believe that Mal had actually asked him out to dinner. But the proof was there in the note on his bed:

_Cargo Bay. 1700 hours. Don't be late._

At least, he hoped it was proof, and not another practical joke. It was almost 1700 hours. Time to find out. He slipped a jacket on and headed to the cargo bay.

The sight that met his eyes when he walked into the cargo bay left him breathless. Mal was there, waiting impatiently, looking magnificent. His ever present suspenders and brown duster were missing. Instead he wore a black suit that fit to perfection.

Mal turned in time to see Simon staring at him. "So, Doc, do I pass muster?" he asked, with a mocking tilt to his eyebrow.

"What? Oh. Yes. Definitely."

"Shall we go, then?" Mal waved Simon off the boat in front of him, taking a good look at him as they walked out into the sun. He nodded in satisfaction and muttered, "Knew it."

"What did you know, Captain?"

"Wha'? Oh. Um," Mal hesitated then said in a rush, "Knew the colors in that vest matched your hair and eyes."


	4. The Hero Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River brings Kaylee to see the boys off on their date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Challenge #112 - Heroes at ff_friday. Beta'd by Vae and rated General Audience.

* * *

**The Hero Dance**

Pulling a protesting Kaylee along behind her, River made her way to the cargo bay, giggling quietly.

"River, sweetie, where we goin'? I got work…"

"Shh! See the Hero Dance." She tugged Kaylee into the shadows by some crates.

"Wha'?" 

"Look," River whispered, pointing to the captain who was standing on the open ramp. "Father figure. Captain. Protector. 

"OK. The Cap'n's a hero, even if he doesn't think so, but I don' see no dancin'."

"Wait. Took the lead. Impatient. Needs music." River glanced toward the passenger dorms. "Here he comes."

Simon stepped hesitantly into the cargo bay, and stopped abruptly to stare at the vision that was Mal in a black suit.

River snickered softly as she said, "There. Brother. Doctor. Rescuer. Such a boob. Nervous. Is singing."

"Singing? I don't hear…"

"Not hear. Feel. Tension. Vibrating through the air. Music." River began to sway back and forth.

They watched as Mal bowed for Simon to precede him down the ramp. As the men disappeared from sight, River grabbed Kaylee and twirled her around the cargo bay.

Kaylee laughed and asked, "Thought we were watchin' the Hero Dance. Why are we dancin'? I'm no hero."

River continued to waltz Kaylee around the room saying, "Yes, you are. Friend. Confidante. Keep us flying. Always understand me. My hero."


	5. Small Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mal and Simon chat on their way to dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Challenge #76 - Walking at ff_friday and rated General Audience.

* * *

**Small Talk**

"Knew the colors in that vest matched your hair and eyes."

At those words, Simon looked in surprise at Mal, who was staring straight ahead as they walked down the road, looking vaguely uncomfortable. _Is he blushing?! I'm so tempted to tease him, but…_ "Ahh. I never did thank you for buying it, did I?"

"Don't mention it. Imagine you've ruined more'n one or two since you been on board." 

"Still. Thank you. So, where are we going anyway?"

"Oh, there's this steakhouse I know 'bout up ahead. Thought it'd make a nice change o' pace from protein packs."

"Sounds heavenly." Simon sighed.

"Don't know 'bout that, but it's decent enough."

"I'm sure I'll enjoy it. After all, you'll be there."

They glanced at each other, smiled, and continued their walk in companionable silence.


	6. Getting Acquainted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mal and Simon continue their conversation over dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Challenge #24 - Parents at ff_friday and rated General Audience.

* * *

**Getting Acquainted**

Mal and Simon were working their way through a delicious steak dinner. They'd been talking about nothing in particular when Mal asked, "So, Doc, how long you been with us now?"

"Um… not quite two years." Simon hesitated before continuing, "Why? Would you like us to leave?"

"Nah. That's not it at all. Just wonderin' if you're settlin' in, feelin' more comfortable's all."

"Ah. Well, I'm not sure I'll ever be totally comfortable, but yes, it's good to be part of the crew. Have a purpose. Something to focus on now that River's improving."

"Yeah, she is, isn't she? You ever think 'bout goin' back home?"

"You know I can't do that, Captain."

"What if the warrants were gone?"

"Are you trying to tell me something? Have they been…?"

"No, sorry, Doc. Nothing new has come up, but the old ones are still out there. I was just wondering if you missed home. Shouldn't've brought it up."

"No. I understand. You want to know if you'll always have a medic on the crew."

Mal all but groaned in frustration. "You persist in misunderstandin' me, Doc. It's just, you've never talked about home since you came on board, least not so that I've heard, and I got to wonderin' if you miss it. Nothin' more. Nothin' less."

"Oh. Do I miss it? I don't know. I haven't thought about it in so long." Simon took another bite of his steak, chewing meditatively, before saying, "There are things I miss. The museums, the parks, swimming in the ocean, the medical facilities. But on the whole, I'd have to say that, no, I don't miss it. Funny. I used to. Guess I've changed."

"It happens. Notice you didn't mention your folks in that list of stuff you miss."

"For all I know, they're dead. For all they care, River and I are. So, no, I can't say that I miss them. What about you. Do you miss your home? Or have we been there and I didn't know it?"

"No. We ain't been there. Grew up on Shadow."

"Oh. I had no idea. I'm sorry I asked."

"'S all right. After all, I asked first. Only fair. As you might conjecture, grew up on a ranch. Don't remember my pa and my momma died 'fore I went off to fight in the war. Most everybody else I knew either left durin' the war, or died in the bombardment. So, nothin' or nobody to miss."

"Guess that puts us in the same boat, both literally and figuratively."

"Hunh. Guess it does at that. More wine?"


	7. Clarification

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon seeks enlightenment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Challenge #2 - A First Kiss at ff_friday, originally rated PG, but it's just a kiss, so, yeah, rated General Audience.

* * *

**Clarification**

After their dinner at the steakhouse, Mal and Simon were headed back to Serenity. As they walked within sight of their home, Simon finally found the courage to ask, "Captain?"

"Hmm?" Mal was watching the way the moonlight glinted off Simon's hair, and didn't feel much like talking. They'd done more of that than he was used to anyway.

"Thank you for the dinner. I…um… really enjoyed it, but…um…I'm wondering; why did you ask me to go in the first place?"

Looked like he wasn't done talking yet. "Thought you'd've figured that out by now, top three percent and all."

"Well…maybe. But I just want to be clear."

By this time they had reached the open cargo bay doors. Instead of going up the ramp, though, Mal stepped around to the side of the ship, motioning for Simon to join him. When Simon hesitated, he asked, "You wanna continue this conversation in private, or you want anybody who's around to hear?" 

With a quick glance inside, Simon followed Mal. When he was within arm's reach, Mal took him by the wrist, drawing him gently forward. Bringing both of his hands up to cup Simon's face, he lowered his head until their lips met in an exploratory kiss. 

Pulling away to look into Simon's passion-glazed eyes, Mal asked, "That clear enough?"


	8. Interruptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long two weeks...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Challenge #21 - Desire and rated Teen because, yeah, things are getting hotter.
> 
> Translation in mouseover.

* * *

**Interruptions**

It had been two weeks. Two weeks of insanity. Two weeks of frustration. Two weeks of wondering.

_"That clear enough?" Oh, God. It most definitely had been._ He'd been weak at the knees from the intensity of that kiss. Then Jayne had come stumbling up, drunk, with a gunshot wound in the arm. They'd gotten him to the infirmary, and by the time he'd been taken care of, they were in the black. 

Since then it had been one thing after another. Kaylee had hurt herself in the engine room. Wash had tripped over something in his and Zoë's quarters. Another job had gone south, putting the captain in a foul mood. And River had had one of her increasingly infrequent bad spells. It had lasted three days, and they were both emotionally drained by the time it ended.

All he wanted to do now was sleep, but every time he closed his eyes he remembered the tenderness of the captain's mouth on his, the feeling of hands holding him steady, the headiness of acknowledged desire… _Āi yā_ _, I might as well get up. Can't sleep anyway. Maybe some tea will help._ Throwing back the covers, he got out of bed. Sliding his feet into his slippers and pulling on a sweatshirt, he made his way to the galley.

He was standing near the stove, hands braced on the counter top and head bowed, waiting for the water to boil, when he was surrounded from behind by a pair of strong, comforting arms. Warm lips nuzzling his throat, moist tongue licking his jaw, sharp teeth biting his ear, sexy voice whispering, "Been waitin' for you, Doc."

Turning, he pulled the captain's face down, feathering kisses across eyes, cheeks, nose and mouth, murmuring, "Sorry. I've…been…busy…being…ship's…medic."

Their lips met in a kiss as intense as their first. When they stopped to breathe, he rested against the lean chest in front of him, grateful for the arms that held him upright. 

"All right, there, Doc?"

"Mmm hmm. Do me a favor, though, Mal?"

"Wha's that?"

Tipping his head back he grinned and said, "Considering that you've had your tongue down my throat twice now, think you could call me by my name?"

"Sure thing, Simon." His captain grinned back before claiming his mouth for another soul-stealing kiss.


	9. Contemplations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened after that soul-stealing kiss?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Challenge #41 - The Morning After and rated Teen.
> 
> Translations in mouseover.

* * *

**Contemplations**

Malcolm Reynolds, ship's captain, woke as he always did - alone. This time, though, instead of immediately rolling out of bed, he lay there, hands behind his head, remembering the night before.

He'd come upon Doc - no, Simon - in the galley lookin' tired and tense, wondered how much o' that was his fault. _When I wrapped my arms 'round him, 'twas as if he let everythin' melt away. Kinda surprisin' since he's usually so nervous and edgy. Felt good, him trustin' me like that. 'N he didn't seem to blame me none for the last couple o' weeks. Matter o' fact, apologized for bein' too busy his own self. Strange. He's most often the first one to lay into me when somethin' goes wrong. Could flail a body alive with that sharp tongue o' his._

They'd made some tea and taken it into the lounge, where they sat on the couch for what seemed like minutes but had more'n likely been hours. _Sure was nice holdin' him. Feels more solid 'n I expected. Be interestin' to see what he's got under all those layers. Not that he had on many layers last night, but still… Hair's as soft as I imagined. Glad I finally got a chance to find that out. And kissin'! Wǒ de tiān nǎ, can he kiss! Not sure I wanna know where he learned to kiss like that._

Eventually, Simon had begun to nod off. _Thought about bringin' him back here, but we decided this thing 'tween us, whatever it is, don't need rushed. Better to take time, go slow. At least for a little while. Walked him to his room, where 'twas all I could do to leave. That mouth! Wonder what else that mouth can do? Best not be thinkin' 'bout that, right now. Gotta face everyone at breakfast, and can't do that if my mind's somewhere it oughtn't to be. Speakin' o' breakfast, guess it's time to meet the day._

***

Simon Tam, ship's medic, woke as he did whenever River had a good night - alone. Instead of immediately going to check on her, he lay there contemplating the previous night.

He'd been waiting for water to boil for some tea when Mal had embraced him from behind. _It felt so nice to be held. I sometimes feel like I'm the only one doing any holding around here. Not that I begrudge my mèimei, but it's nice to be on the receiving end once in a while. It was so easy to let everything just slip away and focus on Mal._

When the tea was ready, they had taken it into the lounge and sat on the couch for a couple of hours relaxing, talking, and getting more intimately acquainted. _He's such a complicated man - angry, lost, psychotic, tender, compassionate, confusing. But when he ran his fingers through my hair… I don't think I've ever felt anything quite that soothing. His kisses, though, are anything _but_ soothing! He takes my breath away every time._

The late hours of the past few days had finally caught up with him, and Simon had almost fallen asleep with his head on Mal's chest. _It was kind of embarrassing nodding off like that, but Mal pretended not to notice. He offered to let me sleep in his bunk since it was closer, but this thing between us is too new, too fragile. So he walked me back here and kissed me good-night. One of these days, real soon, I won't let him leave. I want to see him when he wakes up, and I can't do that if we're in separate beds. Guess it's time to get up and check on River, make sure she's doing all right, and then join everyone for breakfast._

***

When they met at breakfast, there was too much activity going on around them to do more than give each other a quick glance. Unbeknownst to either of them, Zoë intercepted that glance. _Hmm… Who'd've ever thought? This bears some watching. Want the captain to be happy, but not sure Doc's the one that'll make it happen. Have to wait and see._ And she went back to contemplating the protein rations on her plate.


	10. Downtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some shore leave!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Challenge #16 - Surprises at ff_friday and rated Teen.
> 
> This one takes place in February 2519.

* * *

**Downtime**

"This last job left us sittin' pretty in coin. We've all been workin' hard; think we're due some downtime." Mal looked around at the shocked faces of his crew. "What? Don't y'all want a chance to be dirtside for a few days?"

Everyone rushed to assure him that the idea wasn't without merit.

"Right, then. Wash, plot us a course to Regina. Heard there's some nice beaches there."

"Nude beaches?"

"Don't rightly know. Don't want to neither."

***

Two days later Mal found Simon in the infirmary. "C'mon, Simon. Time for some R&R." 

"Are you sure it's safe?"

"Now, would I encourage you to be off ship if there were Alliance around? I think I'm hurt." 

"No, you're not. All right. Let me get River."

"Already gone. Went into town with Kaylee and Book."

"Oh. In that case, what are we waiting for?"

"Nothin' I know of. You got swim trunks?"

"No, but I'll make do." He winked at Mal, who dropped a kiss in his hair as they walked down the ramp.

***

"Where are we going? I thought we were headed into town."

"Nope. Wanted some alone time, just you and me."

They rounded a clump of trees and Simon stared in delight at beach and beautiful blue ocean as far as the eye could see. He leaned into Mal and whispered, "Stunning. I'd almost forgotten… Thank you." He stretched up, giving Mal a lingering kiss.

"You're welcome. Gonna go for a swim?"

"Definitely." Kicking off his shoes, Simon pulled his shirt over his head. As he started undoing his pants, he noticed that Mal wasn't following suit. "Aren't you?"

"Nope. I'll just sit here, soak up the sun."

"Why? Don't you know…?"

"Sure, I know how to swim. Just prefer lakes and ponds. Go. Enjoy. I'll be waitin' here when you're done."

Simon shrugged and stripped out of his pants, revealing briefs that left little to the imagination. He strode unselfconsciously to the water, wading out until the water was waist high before diving out of sight.

_Knew the man was solid under all those layers. Never expected _that_ body, though! Never seen him quite so confident, neither. Makes him even sexier. Swims like he was born to it. Could sit here and watch him all day._

Half an hour later Simon walked back up the beach, pushing wet hair off his forehead, smiling hugely. "That was exhilarating! Sure I can't tempt you to join me?" he asked with a wicked grin, bending down to steal a kiss.

Mal handed Simon a towel saying, "Told you. Prefer lakes and ponds. Ocean's too… huge."

"It scares you." Simon looked at Mal in surprise.

"No, it doesn't. Just makes me… nervous."

"I know, Mal. That's how I feel about space. I won't tease."

"Thanks."


	11. Craving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up on Serenity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Challenge #67 - Addictions at ff_friday and rated Mature.

* * *

**Craving**

Mal had never been dependent on anything before, but he thought he could get used to the compact, solid body he held. Feathered kisses. Whispered words. Moans of passion. Groans of frustration. Lust-glazed eyes. Grasping hands and long, slender feet. Oh, yes, he could definitely get used to all of these. Question was - did he want to? Simon had made it through MedAcad without becoming hooked on the stimulants so many of his classmates had used, but he thought he could get used to the drug of strong arms encircling him. Warm lips trailing. Moist tongue tasting. Sharp teeth nipping. Sexy murmurs. Quiet gasps. Low growls. Passionate gazes. Demanding hands. Oh, yes, he could definitely get used to all of these. Question was - did he want to? "Your bunk or mine?" "Yours is closer." Oh, yes. They were trapped. They could only hope it turned out better than most addictions.


	12. Consummation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, what the title says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Challenge #36 - No Dialog at ff_friday. This one's only 100 words, but warrants that Explicit rating.

* * *

**Consummation**

Stumbling down the ladder. Pushed against the wall. Tongues tangling. Hands in hair. Hips grinding. Chests heaving. Fingers trembling. Clothes disappearing. Biting. Sucking. Licking. Tasting. Swallowing. Falling on the bed. Legs entwining. Hands roaming. Voices whispering. Mouths possessing. Bodies joining. Begging for more. Thrusting harder. Sweating. Swearing. Encouraging. Coming together. Collapsing. Kissing. Spooning. Sleeping. Sated. 

Waking up. Stretching. Smiling into sleepy eyes. Caressing. Smoothing rumpled hair. Tender kisses turning passionate. Moving lower. Exploring. Stroking. Teasing. Fondling. Tickling. Laughing. Sucking toes. Gasping. Claiming. Moaning. Fisting together. Climaxing. Holding. Content.

Getting up. Washing. Finding clothes. Dressing. Kissing. Hugging. Climbing the ladder. Together.


	13. Inquisition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody's just a little bit nosy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Challenge #35 - Secrets at ff_friday and rated General Audience.

* * *

**Inquisition**

"Sir. This thing you got goin' with the doc…"

"Don't rightly think that's any of your concern."

"It is if it affects ship's business."

"It don't."

"Sure about that, sir?"

"Positive."

"Uh huh."

***

"Stop worrying so much, Simon."

"I'm not worried."

"Yes, you are. Worried you won't be here for me. But you're only a comm away."

"That's true. But…"

"No buts. I love you. Go. Be happy."

"Thank you, mèimei."

***

"So, Captain. Thought you said shipboard romances split loyalties."

"Maybe I've learned different, watchin' you and Zoë."

"You've resolved your intimacy issues then?"

"Am I payin' you to fly this boat or ask questions?"

***

"You and the Cap'n finally got together, huh?"

"Yes. Yes, we did. Are you okay with that?"

"Course I am. We been just friends for a long time now."

"I know. I just wanted to be sure."

"Aww, that's so sweet. But I'm shiny."

***

"So, you and the doc, huh?"

"Yeah. You got a problem with that we can let you off…"

"Nah. Ain't got no problem. Just a bit surprised 's all. Though, come to think on it, prob'ly oughtn't t'be."

"Oh? And why's that?"

"Hell, you been watchin' him since the day he came on board. Guess it's a good thing 'Nara left or you'd still be just watchin'."

"Hunh."

***

"Are you positive you want to be involved with the captain, son?"

"I am."

"He's not an easy man to deal with. Seem to recall the two of you having some pretty serious disagreements."

"I know, and I'm sure we'll have more. Just because I'm sharing his bunk doesn't mean I won't let him know when he's being especially stubborn."

"Hmm. You love him."

"I do."

"Does he know that?"

"Not yet."

"And what if he never returns the sentiment?"

"I'll deal with that when the time comes."

***

It was impossible to keep secrets on a ship as small as Serenity. So they didn't even try.


	14. Wakefulness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon wakes up with cold feet. Where's Mal?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Challenge #75 - Falling Asleep on the Job at ff_friday and rated Teen for the implications.
> 
> This one takes place in March 2519.

* * *

**Wakefulness**

Simon stumbled sleepily onto the bridge. "Mal. What’s the matter?" he asked through a yawn.

Mal turned and glanced up at him before looking back into the black. "Sorry I woke you."

"You didn't. Absence of you did. Why did you leave?" He combed his fingers through Mal's hair, while Mal slipped an arm around his hips.

"Couldn't sleep. Thought it best to get up 'fore I started tossin' 'n turnin'." 

"Ah. Another nightmare?"

"Yeah." He looked up at Simon, his eyes haunted. "Don't wanna talk about it."

"All right. But come back to bed. My feet are getting cold." He flexed his toes, trying to warm them.

Mal cleared his throat and growled, "Maybe if you'd put some slippers on they wouldn't be."

"Never thought I'd hear _you_ suggest _that_ solution." Simon chuckled as Mal blushed. "Come on. You've got a job to do tomorrow. Wouldn't do to fall asleep during it. I'm sure I'll have enough injuries to take care of as it is."

"Keep it up, Top Three Percent, and I won't help you warm those feet."


	15. Sleepless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mal still can't sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Challenge #95 - Ghosts at ff_friday and rated Teen for imagery.

* * *

**Sleepless**

He can't sleep. He's so tired, but every time he closes his eyes they're there. He's haunted by them. He's tried to bury them. And sometimes he succeeds - for a while. But then something will happen and they'll be back. Their open mouths calling out to him. Their hollow eyes crying. Their broken bodies crushing his soul. Their names etched in his memory. He tries not to disturb the man lying wrapped in his arms, but knows he has when the head on his shoulder lifts.

"Still can't sleep?"

"Nope."

"Tell me about your nightmares, Mal."

Amazingly enough, he does.


	16. Declarations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon has a slip of the tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Challenge #45 - Bravery & Cowardice at ff_friday and rated Teen.
> 
> Edited slightly from the original to replace bǎobèi, which has connotations of ownership, with a better endearment.
> 
> Translation in mouseover.

* * *

**Declarations**

By the time Mal finished talking, he was trembling. Simon held him, making soothing noises while gently caressing him.

"Feel like a gorram coward, shakin' like this."

"You're not a coward, love. You're the bravest man I know. To go through all that… But you can't hold it in forever. Thank you for telling me about it."

"What did you call me?"

 _Shit._ "Sorry. Slip of the tongue. It won't happen again."

"No. 'S all right. Kind've liked it. You love me?"

"Yes, Mal. I do. Don't worry, though, I don't expect…"

"Anybody ever tell you you talk too much?" Mal silenced him with a kiss.

"Only you, love."

"Yeah, well. Don't know's I'll ever be able to say it, but I feel that way 'bout you, too, _qíngrén_."

"That's okay. As long as I have you, I don't need the words."

"You have me."


End file.
